“Oh, MY GOSH! How do you stay so skinny? I mean, you’re so tiny. I can wrap my fingers around your arm. Do you ever eat?! You can eat anything and not gain a pound. I can’t stand you!”
Well, ok. So, that is a lot thrown out at once, and hmmm….let’s see. Which question or statement do you want a response to first? And give me a second to put my self-esteem and attitude in check. Because if I respond too quickly, the answer will be considered rude or flipped around that as a skinny person one is attacking your body size by saying, “Well, I’m just naturally skinny and can eat pretty much what I want and not gain a pound.” Although as a skinny person, we shouldn’t just eat anything. We need to watch our nutrient intake as well. So now, we gotta do a quick self-esteem check because our self-esteem was totally shaken because we’ve finally gotten over all the comments made and being teased about our size and being called names like toothpick, bony, etc. And can finally get over the hurt and numerous nights of crying and wondering why people are just rude for no reason. But see, no one thinks about those comments being hurtful.
Time To Address The Question
Let’s just address the question about how I stay so skinny. Not really sure what people think the response to this question will or should be. But for someone who is naturally skinny, there’s nothing we do. For the most part, we have a fast metabolism. Some skinny people do have eating disorders (and just a hint…every skinny person doesn’t have an eating disorder, and because some do, that alone may be a reason to think about how you say something about one being so skinny).
We eat and we should eat a well-balanced diet and not a bunch of burgers and other random junk as often suggested by others. Nothing wrong with burgers. Heck, a good ole cheeseburger with all the toppings is yummy in my tummy. Being skinny doesn’t mean we can eat anything we want. We must also maintain a healthy diet. And a bunch of greasy food isn’t good for anyone.
Trust me, I’m all for conversation and no longer get offended when people ask me about being so skinny. But I want you to realize that this question hurts feelings. Hopefully, others will get to the point in life to respond as I do. My response is always a smile and “Cause I’m Skinny, Fit and FABULOUS!” And yes, I get “the look” (you know the look. The F you or B look) when I respond with that. But you see, if you weren’t asking this question to be rude in the first place, you wouldn’t be in your feelings about the response.
Listen…it’s not about you asking how one stays so skinny. It’s HOW you ask and the intent behind it. Most people who have asked me this question don’t stop at this question alone. They continue to attempt to poke fun. In my younger years, it rattled me. Heck, even as a grown woman it shook me. Naw, it no longer made me cry. It did, however, make me a bit self-conscious. Cause body shaming just isn’t a kid/teen issue. Adults are just as rude when it comes to body shaming.
As I grew as an individual, a wife and as a mother, I realized people’s comments were not about me, but about their insecurities or not being aware that their words affect others. You see, we talk about fat shaming, but not skinny shaming. Why? I really don’t know. But from what others say to me it’s because….”Skinny shaming doesn’t exist. It doesn’t exist because so many people WANT to be skinny. Skinny people don’t have struggles.”
As a skinny lady for 41 years, I beg to differ. Skinny-Shaming is a form of body shaming, and it hurts! I’ve talked to women and young girls who resort to destructive measures. That saddens me and part of why I started this blog. I’m a strong believer that we best learn by hearing others’ stories and experiences. Those stories and experiences inspire others to keep on pushing. So, girlfriend…keep on rocking and loving your body!
My blog isn’t to shame or make others feel bad for their words and actions. It’s to bring light to an issue that is dear to my heart. It’s to help other skinny women and young ladies deal with the hurt and overcome the pain. It’s to help others understand that their words and what they may perceive as a joke or a compliment aren’t always received as such. Don’t tell a skinny person to get over themselves when they let you know your words hurt them. I will be the first to say that as a society we are becoming way too sensitive when one disagrees about different views. But when it comes to personal matters we all need to open our ears, eyes, our minds, and our hearts. Learn to listen and respect one another.
And look, LOVE YOUR BODY! LOVE YOURSELF. If you want to make a change, don’t start by making fun of and shaming others. Start by LOVING YOU!