I don’t know what is wrong with people. Why do you think it’s ok to make comments about a skinny person’s body or ask if we ever eat or “whisper” (cause we hear you) to your friend, “She needs to eat a burger or something!” Cause we ALL know if someone said, “YOU ARE A FAT ASS” all hell would break loose. And just so you know, we EAT and can probably eat you under the table. Being told to eat is offensive and skinny shaming
It’s no secret that I’m a skinny lady. I have skinny kids, and I have skinny friends. I also have “average” size friends and “fat” friends. When I meet people yes, I see their color, I see their weight. Do I comment on it? No! Why? Cause it’s rude! There are so many body campaigns out here talking about being proud of your curves, and that big girls and guys need love too. But it shouldn’t be at the expense of shaming other body types.
The other day I had someone comment on my size. My response was, “that’s right! I’m Skinny, Fit and FABulous!” In the past, I would’ve been crushed and try to figure out how I was going to gain weight.
The comments didn’t stop. Yes, I said some things in my mind but refused to go there to make them stop. Instead, I turned sideways to let my body language speak my feelings. It continued, so I finally said, “yes, I’ve been skinny all my life, and after having three beautiful children I’m still skinny.” Yeah, there was a little attitude in my voice at this point. My husband picked up on my frustration, as he told me later that day that he thought it was about to get ugly.
An opportunity later presented itself for me to educate about those comments. The response was the normal one of, “I was just playing, didn’t mean anything by it.” “I’m just jealous.” Why didn’t you call me a fat ass?”
Hmmmm…..we all know if the response back was, “YOU’RE A FAT ASS” that I would’ve been the biggest B of all time and now they become the victim. There was an apology made and accepted. And the best part….by talking it over, the individual had their eyes opened and now understand how hurtful their words may be received. Naw, it didn’t hurt my feelings (it used to), but knowing there are others who are still learning to love their bodies and knowing that there’s some bout it bout skinny folks who won’t think twice about letting it flow, it’s my duty to let others know how hurtful it can be.
Do people make comments about ALL body sizes? Yes! However, many people do not think those comments affect skinny people. Yo, we have feelings too. And to many’s disbelief, being skinny isn’t necessarily a GLAMOROUS lifestyle. And heck, especially now with the direction of many of the body image campaigns out there, it’s prime season to torture skinny folks.
I know someone is reading this saying, “oh, poor little thing. Whining about being skinny and not wanting people to speak the truth”. You’re right; there’s nothing wrong with someone speaking the truth. Saying that someone is skinny isn’t what’s rude. However saying, “OMG, you’re so skinny, you need to eat” is. Cause once again, if I said, “OMG, he/she is such a FAT ASS, he/she needs to skip a few meals” I’m body shaming and a ROYAL, BULLYING B.
There’s going to always be rude people in the world. There will always be people who make rude comments about your body (this goes for all sizes), hair, skin, etc. But my message is to bring awareness of skinny shaming and how many claim their comments are meant to be compliments, jealousy or not knowing it’s hurtful.
If we spent more time worrying about ourselves and loving ourselves, there wouldn’t be spare time to be an ASS toward others. Yes, I said it. The truth hurts sometimes.
So, let me end by saying this…..if you don’t want a skinny person responding to you with “You’re A FAT ASS,” don’t tell us to go eat a burger. Even though you say you welcome that response, you know it would hurt, and you wouldn’t appreciate it.
Last but not least, LOVE YOUR BODY. Many skinny people have NO control over their size. No matter how much we eat, we are skinny. And hey, your words may cause more damage than good. Think about it. BUT….if there’s a skinny person in your life who seems to be losing weight and becoming unhealthy, this is when you need to reach out in a caring way.